Are you in fear, faith or freeze mode? - Part 1 of 3
I wonder if you’re aware of the importance of deliberately choosing how you think can affect your life. Right now, as we’re transitioning out of our bubbles, and we’ve never been so able to be aware of our own thinking. Sure, movies and T.V. are distractions, but we were down to the basics: minimal social connections, a bit of exercise, eating, and our own company. Sometimes, if you’re one of the fortunate, work.
So, how did lockdown go for you?
Some people can sail through situations like this with an easy calm, most of us have our moments, and some of us are not coping at all.
If you’ve never been a person to think about how or what you think about, what an opportunity you have!
If you take a breath right now and are aware of your own self talk (stuff like “That’s so not me, I really have it all together” or ‘I’d do almost anything for a good coffee/chai latte with chocolate sprinkles/wine/gin/joint/punch bag right now.”) what’s your most current thought?
I bet it comes under one of these three types: fear, freeze or faith. (There’s fantasy as well – but let’s not go there, because it’s really a subset of freeze…)
Fear?
This is where you’re dwelling on the worst and how you, individually, can control the worst-case scenario. It might be “Bobbi had really bad asthma when she was a baby. What say the delivery guy left Covid 19 droplets on the packaging and she gets really sick and dies? Did we really need that fridge? What if it’s my fault my girl dies?! What say my dog can get Covid, because they don’t really know, and then dies? And then we all die?”
I’m exaggerating, but, if you’re always thinking about the negative, constantly on T.V. news and conspiracy theories in your feeds, then the outcome of this is misery. And a small, fear-driven life. Guaranteed. If you’re used to living in this level of pain and paranoia, then this might be normal for you.
It can be different...
There’s a really good exercise or tool you can use to deliberately change your thinking:
Question your thinking. Is it true? Is it really possible? Is it likely? Really?
What can you do about it? If you’ve taken reasonable precautions then, like much of life, it’s out of your control. Here’s a radical idea. Stop thinking about it. Completely. Stop releasing cortisol and other bad stuff that guarantees poor health, because you’re going around in circles that are unhelpful to you, and to those you love.
Focus on what you can do. Today. Projecting to the next week/month/year/galaxy? Don’t waste any more time. There’s a big difference between planning and paranoia.
Find three things you’re grateful for. Have you eaten today? Smiled at someone? Felt a breeze on your face? Well, there you go. Three things that are worth a pause to appreciate. The more you live with deliberate appreciation, the more satisfying your life will be.
Pause once a day. Breathe deeply for a few minutes. Have a big stretch, and smile. On purpose. And not necessarily because of something
There’s more you can do. Like, try a booklet I’ve written on Choose To Think. Or come on the online session on Choose to Think. Or, call for a discovery session. I guarantee you’ll learn one thing or laugh at something. Send me a message for more information, I cannot wait to connect.
If you’re fearful from trauma, there’s no substitute for counselling where you can get help to manage the cause of deep fears and anxieties. This isn’t counselling, it’s coaching, so I don’t deal with trauma, but can often recommend others who can.
Are you in fear, faith or freeze mode?
There’s more you can do, lets chat!
