Change your story, change your life

What do you know about self- talk? If you look it up, the definition is your internal voice, providing a running commentary of thoughts. It’s mostly about your sense of who you are. It shows your subconscious beliefs, questions, and ideas.

What are some of your self- talk?

Here’s some examples of what yours might be like: “I reckon I look nice in black.” “I have to make this perfect” “My life is harder than anyone else’s.” “If I ignore it, it will go away.” “Why am I so fat?” “I’m not  good enough” “So good to see that amazing sunset” “I should call Mum.” (So pause now, and think of a couple of your own.)

What you tell yourself in self-talk becomes part of your overall story to yourself. You can choose to change what could be a very negative story into one which is empowering. It could change your life

What’s one of your negative stories?

 When I was at school I was bullied. Worst of all, it was from other girls who would sometimes call themselves my friends. If I let myself, I can still remember the pain of conversations and sometimes physical harm. I’m not one of those people that have some quick banter that I could give back and brush it off. I took things to heart.

But now I realise what it built in me. I could have thought “Poor me, I didn’t deserve it.” But I changed my thinking and realised I dug deep into who I was and valued some key things about who I was. I never started calling other people names and deep down recognised that what they’re saying about me wasn’t who I was. It was hard to be a person that didn’t care if she fit in or not, I was being myself, in spite of what others said.

And now I know I can do other hard things. I learnt that what happens, what’s out of my control doesn’t change who I am but the stories I tell myself about what happened do matter.

So to change your painful story, you can write yourself a letter. It can go like this:

Dear me,

I have this way I look at my life. 

I have thought my life was about what happened to me. I now know the way I view my life is how I turn out to be in the future.

My life story could mess me up, because they can really mess us all up, but it's also the power of my future. I don’t have to believe that bad things that happened to me can mean I have to have a bad life.

I used to think that…….

but now I believe…………….

I don’t have [put what your dream is here] …yet!

How to use your new story successfully

1. Reflect on the messages you tell yourself instead of focusing on what’s been bad, focus on what’s possible because of what you’ve gained through it.

2. Go over your letter to yourself every day once you know what your new story is, read and or say it every day – no matter what. Have it in your phone and think about what actions you can take today to make it happen.

3. Surround yourself with good people who care about you, because it rubs off on you. It’s easier to tell your new story in a caring situation. If your story isn’t helping, not having caring functional people around you can be one of the reasons why.

If you’d like to change your story send me a message with the words CHANGE YOUR STORY and we can get started with changing your life. Talk soon.

Instead of focusing on what’s been bad, focus on what’s possible because of what you’ve gained through it.